paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm at about main and main street
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
