i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize