Duck Duck Cougar?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
