i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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