im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
