i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he fucked my hip out of place.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
