i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
