This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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