if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
