would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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