I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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