it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
