I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
