I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
