We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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