problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
