U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
