I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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