real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She told me I should be a condom model.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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