I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
