I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This is the high leading the old right now
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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