I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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