I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
