Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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