how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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