i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
