I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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