I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she pinky promised me she was 18
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
