Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
