So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
