I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
