her vagine was all disorganized.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
