He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
