Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
