DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
