IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
