so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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