hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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