party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize