i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
