I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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