Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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