i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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