Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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