his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
