im drinking this country out of the recession.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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