The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
