I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize