He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
