New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
