Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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