i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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