i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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