That's intense
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
