R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
