Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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