question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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