TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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