They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
