"it" just moved
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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