Im at strip club and am horny
Pappa wants mamma naked
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize
