my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
