Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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