I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
