I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
